Dysphoric Sensations.

My brain is all over the place this evening. I’ve felt like crying so many times. I was planning on doing some coding and reading up on some code/web design stuff but I don’t think too much of that will happen tonight. So much has been happening in the world lately. I used to wish I was born at a different time. Farther back in history. It’s always terrible and always beautiful though. This is a fascinating time to be alive.

Sometimes I can barely handle the world, but I’m so grateful I’ve got access to the internet so I can at least be conscious of it. And I even have the opportunity to do so much more because of it.

I’m so terrible at eating lately. I was in great shape a few years ago. I’m never too good at figuring out what to get myself to eat. It’s one of those things about being an adult I think will take me quite a while to figure out. #breadlife

I’ve been thinking a lot about gender again recently. I used to think things were so simple, but I’ve come to realize they’re not and it feels so weird. I wish I had more “unconventional” friends that I could talk about these things. It’s strange too because I often really wish I was a girl, but then sometimes I kind of glad the way I am, and I’m sort of in between it all. I haven’t any clue how all the gender pronoun things work and half the time, I’m so damn uncomfortable in my own skin.

I feel like I’ve a lot more to say. That’s all for now I guess though. Life is interesting, life is lovely. Life is fucking weird.